Tombstone Ranch by Shayne Carmichael

TITLE: Tombstone Ranch
AUTHOR: Shayne Carmichael
PUBLISHER: Phaze
LENGTH: Novella (roughly 17k)
GENRE: Gay paranormal erotic romance
COST: $2.00

In Tombstone, Jake Mathers receives word that his father is dead and returns to Boston in order to see his brother. There, a one-night stand with a vampire leaves him nearly immortal. Four hundred years later, Jake is still alive and mining on a distant planet when he takes on Les Westwood as a new hand. The attraction between them flares, but can it survive the truth when Les learns what Jake really is?

For a long time, I didn’t buy anything from Phaze. If I wanted a Phaze book, I had to go to Fictionwise and look at it there, because Phaze didn’t have excerpts on their site. Well, a little while ago, they added excerpts to their sales pages so I started checking out the site on Sunday nights when they posted their new releases. I sincerely hope this title isn’t indicative of their overall quality.

It’s hard to say which is worse – the poor editing or the quality of the writing. There are mistakes galore – possessives out of place, more than a handful tense shifts, even prostrate for prostate once. Muddling through those is difficult enough, but the prose also has a tendency to be simplistic and repetitive, with little fresh detail and clumsy dialogue. The characters offer a lot in the context of so-called conversations, and frankly, it was hard not to laugh at the absurdity of Jake telling Les in the middle of Les’ job interview, “I’m partial to men myself…” A job interview. Where they’ve only just met. But really, this kind of oversharing is indicative of the whole story. It definitely doesn’t help to make the already shallow writing any more enjoyable.

What isn’t overshared is any detail on what kind of paranormal world this is. The vampire who sires Jake disappears without telling him what exactly is going on, leaving behind only a note with the scantiest of details. Apparently, however, Jake can move about in the sunshine all he wants, and there are no hints as to what might actually kill him. The only change that appears to happen is now he has to drink blood to survive, and oh yeah, added bonus of living forever if he’s careful. Without specific details or depth, the entire paranormal aspect of this story feels tacked on, used as a device to make Jake just a little bit more exotic.

Being a vampire is really the only interesting thing I know about Jake. Oh, and he likes to embroider, which I’ll admit was another moment where I snorted in disbelief. I know even less about Les. Other than the biographical details he gives in extensive detail during his interview, I don’t know what makes him tick. I couldn’t tell you how he’d react to certain situations because I never got to know him as a person. Added in to the other problems I had with the story and I can’t say I’ll be jumping through hoops to try this author again. I have a feeling, too, I’ll be a little more choosy about what might interest me from Phaze as well.

Readability	3/10 – Chronic technical issues added to a plodding style makes this a chore to read
Hero #1	4/10 – There are flashes of being interesting, but the shallow writing quickly douses those
Hero #2	2/10 – Just an adoring body, willing to be whatever the plagued hero needs.
Entertainment value	2/10 – Bored and annoyed probably wasn’t the response this author wanted to get from me.
World building	4/10 – The entire paranormal angle feels tacked on, with little to no explanation, and can’t save the few Old West details that are tossed in
TOTAL:	15/50

Best Man by Shelley Munro

TITLE: Best Man
AUTHOR: Shelley Munro
PUBLISHER: Ellora’s Cave
LENGTH: Short story (roughly 14k)
GENRE: Contemporary gay erotic romance
COST: $2.99

Rugby players Grayson Lynford and Jesse Peters are groomsmen for their teammate, sharing a room together the weekend of the wedding. What they don’t realize until they get there is that each is in lust with the other, but a drunken encounter puts all their cards on the table. With passions running high, they explore their mutual desire, but someone is threatening the privacy of their teammate, and their own.

I don’t like spoilers in reviews, but the ultimate message of this short story annoys me so much that I don’t really care about revealing it. You can stop reading now if you don’t want to be spoiled. Go on. This is your time to switch away from this page.

So you know what this story ultimately says? That if you’re gay, and you have any hopes of furthering your career, you should be prepared to deny your sexuality in public for the rest of your life, and spend time with the partner of your choice only in the privacy of your own home.

Honest. That’s what it says. In this story, Grayson and Jesse are both angling to be a part of the national rugby team for New Zealand, but when a picture of them kissing is set to be published in a national paper, their entire strategy for dealing with it is to deny, deny, deny. What kind of message is this sending? I understand that homosexuality is still a taboo in some parts of the world, both public and privately, but that doesn’t mean that the author couldn’t have tried to come up with some sort of resolution that doesn’t completely subvert what they are.

Even if the message of the story hadn’t completely turned me off, the lack of distinct characterization and boring – and far too short (one paragraph from penetration to orgasm!) – sex makes this a very disappointing read. Even at its low price, don’t waste your money. I certainly won’t be bothering with this author again.

Readability	5/10 – Run-on sentences and some interesting typos make this less than ideal
Hero #1	2/10 – Pretty much interchangeable with his partner
Hero #2	2/10 – See note above
Entertainment value	1/10 – The message this story sends completely ruined any entertainment I got from this.
World building	4/10 – She built a rugby world in New Zealand, but I can’t say that I liked it.
TOTAL:	14/25