Blood Lust by assorted authors

TITLE: Blood Lust
AUTHORS: J.P Bowie, Amber Green, & L. Picaro
PUBLISHER: MLR
LENGTH: Anthology (roughly 62k)
GENRE: Paranormal gay erotic romance
COST: $6.99

A collection of three erotic paranormal novellas, each about a gay romance with a vampire involved…

I bought this anthology in August 2009, but then buried it in my TBR pile because I’d decided J.P. Bowie’s voice was just not for me after reading other works by him. When scanning through my pile recently, I decided to give it another chance, since I fully understand readers and reading tastes can change over time and because I’ve seen other readers extol Bowie’s work in that time period. After reading this anthology, however, I probably should have shelved it permanently.

The anthology starts out with Amber Green’s “More Than Memories.” This is the story of a ghost named Dick who manages to survive by feeding on other people’s memories. He’s attached to a young nerdy man in a museum named Harry, tormenting him by feeding him memories of lewd acts that drive Harry closer and closer to experimenting with his sexuality. Of the three stories, this was the one I had the highest hopes for, as I’ve had the best luck with this author in the past. While it is definitely the most original – with the most creative interpretation of the anthology’s theme – and Green’s voice my favorite by far, Dick’s 1^st person perspective makes it incredibly confusing to follow. It’s difficult to tell what is the present – and when the present actually is – and what is Dick’s past, as well as what memories are Dick’s and which are ones he’s stolen to survive. There are glimmers of a smooth story, when the tale sticks long enough in a single scene to add some well needed coherency to its flow, but not nearly enough to compensate for often perplexing narration.

Next comes “Vampire Dreams” by J.P. Bowie. Edward is an author struggling through his latest assignment, a story about a vampire for a publication named Gayfantasia. Unhappy with what he’s done, he goes for a walk to help clear his head and perhaps find some focus. Instead, he runs into David, a gorgeous Scot who goes home with him. When Edward wakes up the next morning, he’s convinced he had the best erotic dreams ever, but even better, he’s figured out what’s needed to fix his story. But then he meets David again, and realizes none of it was a dream. Though I’ve confirmed his authorial voice doesn’t work for me – I find Bowie a tad too saccharine and idealized for my tastes – his story is by far the most accessible of the three. It’s complete with its romantic flow, and leaves the fewest number of questions unanswered about its particular world. There’s little original about it, however, so it’s a trade-off. When the other two stories in the anthology are this unsatisfying, it was probably a worthwhile one.

Finishing up the anthology is “Blood Lust” by L. Picaro. Set in a futuristic society, Noah is out with his friend Anne when she disappears on him. He’s convinced she’s been attacked or kidnapped by vampires, and becomes obsessed with finding out what happened to her. His search leads him into the path of Russian vampire, Adrian Staritsky, who is in the middle of his own search. They decide to join forces, but other vampires within the city have different ideas for them. This was yet another story where the authorial voice did nothing for me. My primary problems with it rest with word choices, like comparing an anus’s response to a flower opening in the sun. Little thought is given to explaining the world in which this is set, either, though at the story’s end I wondered if its cliffhanger ending meant that it was a prequel to another work. If it is, it completely failed to interest or attract me as a reader, because it left me bewildered and very dissatisfied with its conclusion. Some readers would probably appreciate being warned that this story also has multiple erotic scenes that include both het and lesbian sex. Since some m/m readers would prefer to avoid those, it merits mentioning.

Probably the only thing reading this anthology did for me was confirm I’m not a fan of Bowie’s voice. I’m glad I gave him another chance, though.

Readability	7/10 – Mostly clean, but two of the stories suffer from inadequate exposition
Romance	6/10 – Only the second comes anywhere close to delivering
Characterization	6/10 – Problems with each of them leaves a lot of the characters a tad flat, though not always uninteresting
Entertainment value	3/10 – Really not my cup of tea
World building	6/10 – Attempts are made to make two of these unique, but lack of expositional detail and muddied execution means they are only tries, not achievements
TOTAL:	28/50

Hard Working Men by assorted authors

TITLE: Hard Working Men
AUTHOR: Victor J. Banis, J.P. Bowie, Jardonn Smith, & William Maltese
PUBLISHER: MLR Press
LENGTH: Anthology (roughly 61k)
GENRE: Gay contemporary erotica
COST: $5.99

An anthology of four gay erotic stories, each one centering on blue collar men in some fashion.

I’m at a loss. Truly. I debated over writing this review. I wish I could slap a DNF on this anthology, but it was like a ten-car pile-up. You just can’t look away. Because as it went on, it got worse and worse and worse until I just couldn’t believe that I was supposed to take any of it seriously.

The exception to everything negative I have to say about this anthology is the first entry. It’s a short story by Victor J. Banis called “If Love Were All.” The prose has texture, the characters felt human, and best of all, it actually had a meaning. Sadly, I can’t say the same about the other stories.

Bowie’s story, “One Brick at a Time,” isn’t awful. It’s just forgettable. With a silly revenge plot that was transparent almost from the first page. His voice doesn’t work for me, either, with stuff like yet Tony innately intuited that wasn't a part of Steve's character indicative of problems throughout the text. Because, hello, can we say redundant? I just have to conclude Bowie isn’t for me, since this is the second of his stories I’ve had problems with.

The third story in the anthology, “The Thomas Coleman Full Nelson” by Jardonn Smith, is schizophrenic at best. As long as it’s not a sex scene, I actually enjoyed finding out about his two window installers. They’re lifelong buddies, separated by a bad marriage, then brought back together again as they always should have been. The relationship built – outside of the sex – is plausible and more than a little sympathetic. But the problem here lies in the numerous sex scenes. This is some of the purplest prose I have read in a long time. Stuff like He knew I was going nowhere until I got my second injection of the morning, so he gave it to me with the violence of a dominating beast, twisting and turning and rapid-firing his impaler mad-doggiestyle. And, Overflow of his manly syrup sugar-coated his ready-to-explode mushroom, its bulging sheen inviting my mouth to taste. And since there’s so many sex scenes, you can just imagine how hard it was for me to read.

But then there’s the real puzzler. The last story in the anthology. Now, I’ve heard of William Maltese before, though I have never read him. The only thing I knew about him was that he’d written a lot. I wasn’t even sure what it all was, though for some reason I assumed it was all gay fiction. (It wasn’t apparently. I went and checked out his backlist. He’s been writing for decades and spent a lot of years writing het romance under a female pseudonym.) But I just do not know what to make of this story. It’s told in first person, and the narrator is a high-priced prostitute who usually masquerades in blue collar/white collar scenarios. It starts out with him and a trick. Okay, I’m still fine there. Then on the fourth page in the story, the narrator pulls his trick into an alley and starts talking dirty. Describing everything that’s going on. There is absolutely no action. All there is for 14 pages is dialogue. Not even dialogue. Monologue. And it’s all like this:

“See how I lick my fingertip just flavored by the seepage strained through your trousers like deliciously salty curd strained through cheesecloth? Sexy as hell that taste. Making my dick harder ... harder....

“Go ahead and touch my prick, where it is, buddy. Feel it straining to get free of my jeans, and underpants, wanting you, needing you, anxious to have at you, excited by the prospect it of being belly-to-belly with your phallic truncheon and, then, deep-dived up your funky tight rich-man's asshole…

There’s more. Lots more. I mentioned 14 pages of this, right? It happens again in a later chapter of the story, only it’s a tow truck driver the narrator has found who does the talking this time.

Oh, and the narrator has the same name as the author. William Maltese. If this is an affectation of the author’s, it’s creepy as hell. If it’s meant to be autobiographical, it’s still creepy. And if it’s meant to be something else, like satirical or punny or amusing in some way…it’s still definitely creepy. I have no idea if he does this in all his work. Unless someone tells me, I’m never going to know because I’m not sure I can sit through another of his stories.

So…for being at a loss, I guess I wrote a lot. Am I supposed to take this anthology seriously? I just don’t know.

Readability	4/10 – I don’t even know where to begin on three of the stories in this
Content	4/10 – Banis’ work is the only that felt complete
Characterization	4/10 – I’m a broken record; Banis is the best here.
Entertainment value	3/10 – I just…can’t.
World building	3/10 – Do I really need to repeat Banis is the only one who works for me in this
TOTAL:	18/50

The Set Up by J.P. Bowie

TITLE: The Set Up
AUTHOR: J.P. Bowie
PUBLISHER: Total-e-bound
LENGTH: Novella (roughly 21k)
GENRE: Gay thriller erotic romance
COST: £2.49

Movie extra John White Eagle is about to get the ride of his life from superstar Greg Mathis. But not even illicit sex is worth being suspected of murder…

If you go to the publisher’s website and read the blurb for this short novella, you’ll find that it’s much longer than the very brief one I provided. But you know what? If you read that blurb, you will have pretty much read the whole book. The conflict that is introduced in the first paragraph doesn’t even happen until 7k into the story, it takes another 10k to get to the sting detailed in the second, and then…the story’s nearly over. I almost wish I’d just stuck with reading the blurb. I wouldn’t feel like I’ve wasted my time then.

I’ll admit I bought the story for a selfish reason. I find Native American men incredibly sexy, so when I see one as a hero, I have a tendency to succumb to the urge to buy. But even though the story is told in 1^st person from John’s POV – or maybe because, because I was privy to his thoughts – I never engaged with John. In fact, I couldn’t get over the feeling that the man was an idiot obsessed with sex. I don’t fault him for jumping into the sack with the hot superstar on the film he’s shooting, but from the moment John shows up at the hotel to back Greg up in the face of Greg’s blackmailer, his IQ takes a nosedive. Then when the police show up to arrest him for the murder, he spends as much time lusting after the cop interrogating him as he does worrying about the prospect of going to jail. I have no sympathy for him when things go even further south, because he seems more interested in falling for the cop than he is in the fact that he’s the prime suspect in a murder investigation. And that he never suspects the cop of being anything but straight with him, because he’s just too cute and nice to lie. Riiiiiiight. Oh, and did I mention that his dead grandmother passed down a little psychic gift? The ability to enhance the sexual awareness of whoever he’s making love to. Are you groaning as much as I did?

The second hero in this is obviously the cop, but he fails to engage for different reasons. He’s not introduced until almost halfway through the story, which leaves little time to really get to know him. Add in the factor that I’m convinced from the moment they release John that something is up, and the cop never really stands a chance with me. I was of one of two minds – if the cop is setting him up, he’s a jerk, and if he’s not and he’s honestly falling for John, then he’s an idiot and the worst cop ever.

The thriller aspect in this is nonexistent. The set-up is so incredibly obvious that I don’t feel anything but disdain for the dumb hero, and the play-out of the climax contrived. Without either a believable romance or any aspect of a smart plot, I can’t say that I’m interested enough to try any of this author’s other work.

Readability	6/10 – Technically little wrong, but the lead is so dumb and the plot so oversimplified that it ends up being a chore to read.
Hero #1	2/10 – An absolute dimwit with sex on the brain
Hero #2	3/10 – Flat and boring.
Entertainment value	2/10 – I had so little sympathy for the lead, it was impossible to find enjoyment elsewhere.
World building	6/10 – Mediocre at best.
TOTAL:	19/50