The Virgin Widow by Lillith Payne

TITLE: The Virgin Widow
AUTHOR: Lillith Payne
PUBLISHER: Forbidden Publications
LENGTH: Novella (roughly 28k)
GENRE: Historical romance
COST: $3.99

When she is forced to marry the Duke of Trahorn, thrice-widowed Serena settles herself into making the best of an awkward situation. Due to his physical limitations, he claims to only seek companionship and a wife to run his keep. What he gets is a loyal partner who refuses to show weakness, even when it’s obvious some people would prefer her gone…

From the very first sentence, there’s an odd disconnect with this story. The blurb and sales page note The Virgin Widow is a historical, and yet, this is the first taste of the world the author wants us to disappear into: “If a tree fell in the forest and there was nobody around to hear it, would you still bitch?” There is no date or place notation at the top of the chapter, and nothing for pages upon pages to suggest when or where this might be taking place. I was thrust immediately into a more contemporary mindset, especially since I can’t find any indication that the word “bitch” was used as a verb prior to the early 20th century (the OED's first indication is 1930). As a noun for a lewd or immoral woman? Sure, that goes back to 1400, possibly even before. But this sense of anachronistic writing prevails throughout the entire story. There are mentions of British places to finally give me a location of where everything is transpiring, but it wasn’t until mention of Henrietta Maria, nearly two-thirds of the way through, that gave me a sense of when. Since she’s married to King Charles, I have to assume the author means Charles I, which would place the events somewhere in the first half of the 1600s. But this lack of attention to period detail marks the prose from beginning to end.

It doesn’t help that the writing itself is weak. Headhopping is the norm, and there are multiple instances of incorrect word usage (apparently, Serena has a “taught nipple;” it makes me wonder what it knows). What really works against it is the author’s inclination to tell not show. Huge blocks of story are glossed over in vague exposition, sections that would be emotionally relevant to show. For instance, in a pivotal scene with Fiona, the woman furious at Serena’s attempts to actually be a real wife to Zane, instead of getting to see the crux of the scene for ourselves, we get this:

He made it clear to everyone in the room and anyone who might be within listening distance from the kitchen, he'd not tolerate her behavior any longer, and suggested it was time for her to be heading back to her own husband and keep. In fact, he'd made sure her carriage would be ready at first light and had Hilda send up several maids to pack for her. Her fair skin went still paler, then flushed a deep red, her anger welling up and spewing from her lips.

I didn’t want to hear that it happened. I wanted to see it. I needed to see it, after everything Fiona had done and said. Yet, that emotional satisfaction was denied me by the constant distant summaries.

It wouldn’t have bothered me as much as it did if this was a story I could completely write off. Because I can’t. As characters, Serena and Zane were both likeable and engaging, and their interactions with each other charming. I wanted more for them, more from them, and didn’t get it because of the way the rest of the story elements failed to work for me. Serena is smart and heartwarming, while Zane has a melancholy reticence that made me want to give him everything he wanted. Other characters are just as sharply drawn; the fact that I responded so strongly to Fiona is proof of that. They deserve to have the entire story told, not just the sporadic sections we’re offered. I would have even settled for simply fleshing out those scenes that got summarized instead of expounded.

Readability	4/10 – Headhopping, telling vs showing, incorrect word usage…there’s a lot of sloppy writing that holds back enjoyable characters
Hero	6/10 – Likeable though enigmatic, he needs more backstory in order to really have any sort of impact
Heroine	7/10 – Smart without being too smart, spunky without being annoying
Entertainment value	4/10 – This has the potential of a really good story, if only all the technical stuff didn’t hold it back.
World building	3/10 – Until mention of Henrietta Maria came, this could have really been anywhere, anywhen
TOTAL:	24/50

The Seagrass Whore by Ellen Ashe

TITLE: The Seagrass Whore
AUTHOR: Ellen Ashe
PUBLISHER: Forbidden Publications
LENGTH: Novella (roughly 40k)
GENRE: Paranormal romantic suspense
COST: $4.99

Leena has the Sight, which has only gotten more acute since a bad car accident a year ago. When her fiancé Colin takes her to Calloway Cove to meet his estranged father, she gets caught up in the sight of a ghostly woman with blood on her hands. The legend of the Seagrass Whore captivates both her and her future father-in-law, even more so when it looks like the old love story about a woman falling in love with her husband’s father might be repeating itself. Together, they try and free the ghost's soul, and at the same time, save their own.

The cover of this book captivated me. It was haunting and sensual, and though the title and excerpt threw me a little, I decided to try it anyway. I thought it might be worth trying something a little offbeat for a change. Offbeat is probably the best way to describe this in the end.

The prose is…uneven. That’s probably the best word. There are sections where it’s very lyrical and flows well enough to suck me in. Then there are sections where it feels like reading a grade school primer. I don’t know if this is the author’s style since this is the first title of hers I’ve read, but it almost seems like she’s trying to obtain a haunting voice to match her haunting subject matter. If that’s the case, it only worked for me half the time.

The other half, I was too busy trying to figure out what was going on. Characterization is all over the place. Most scenes – especially between Leena and Cole, the father – have such a dizzying array of emotions that I can never tell what the scene’s true intent really is. I really liked Cole in the beginning; the author set him from the start to be this great anti-hero. By the time the real meat of the story hit, however, I started wondering what was going on with him. It doesn't help that the writing suffers in some of the more intimate scenes; I've never seen a hero purr so much that wasn't a shapeshifter. That feeling only got worse throughout the climax when it felt like Cole was saying one thing, doing another, and thinking something completely different, none of which was meshing or explaining the other. It climaxes with the very last scene of the book, which I refuse to spoil, but I walked away from the story unconvinced it was a happy ever after, or even a happy for now.

I really liked the idea of mirroring the tragic events of the Seagrass Whore with the triangle of Colin/Cole/Leena, but ultimately, it didn’t work for me. I had nobody to connect with, or respect, or even empathize a little for. Colin is trashed from nearly the get-go, while Leena and Cole suffer from behavior that borders on unstable. Maybe that was the point. I’m not sure. But I don’t buy escapist fiction to spend hours afterward wondering what I had just read. I buy it to get sucked into the story. I’ll settle for getting sucked into the haunting cover of this for now.

Readability	7/10 – Lyrical prose gets hindered by poor pacing and inconsistent characterization
Hero	5/10 – Compelling for the first half, then falls apart with ambiguities
Heroine	4/10 – Other than her Sight, I never know much about her, and if the ambiguous ending means what I think it does, I have even less respect for her.
Entertainment value	5/10 – A fascinating concept fails on follow-thru
World building	4/10 – In spite of interesting prose and some interesting ideas, the details fill in the wrong kind of holes and leave me trying to imagine what’s going on.
TOTAL:	25/50