Orientation by Rick R. Reed

TITLE: Orientation
AUTHOR: Rick R. Reed
PUBLISHER: Amber Quill
LENGTH: Novel (roughly 61k)
GENRE: GLBT drama
COST: $7.00

Christmas 1983, Robert lost his lover to AIDS. On Christmas in 2007, he found him again…in the body of twenty-four year-old lesbian Jess. He doesn’t know it then, of course. He only means to take a walk, to forget about his increasingly unbearable relationship with his current lover, but discovering Jess about to commit suicide gives him renewed purpose, especially when the connection between them is so instantaneous…

Amber Quill sells this particular story in its romance section, but I have to say I don’t necessarily agree with that appellation. This is a love story, which is far more freeing than the genre definition of romance. More importantly, this is a story about self-identity, about trying to figure out who you are beyond the restriction of conventional labels.

In spite of their physical and financial differences, Robert always thought of Keith as his soul mate, his one true love. He was young, relatively innocent, and pretty, while Keith was a leather daddy. One night of passion should not have led to the most fulfilling relationship either of them had ever had, but it did, only to end as Robert nursed Keith through AIDS. After Keith’s death, he goes through a string of boyfriends who grow younger with the passing years. Ethan is the latest, but Ethan’s addiction to drugs is spiraling out of control, creating problems in their arrangement, turning them into roommates rather than lovers. When Ethan lies about where he’s going on Christmas, Robert waits as long as he can, then strikes out to take a walk and clear his head. He finds Jess about to kill herself over the recent break-up with her lover, takes her home, warms her up, and gives her fresh hope.

The story starts out with an emotional bang. The opening chapter is Robert taking care of Keith on his deathbed, and the palpable sorrow in his life. I would defy anyone not to be moved by it, and in fact, was in near tears when it was over. I suspect it would hit people who have experienced loss like this harder than those who haven’t, but as I fall into the former group, that’s just a supposition on my part. All I know is that I haven’t been that wrecked by a chapter in a long time, and it sucks me into wanting more for Robert as the story progresses.

That emotional wallop shifts the further into the novel you get, however. Ethan’s drug addiction is treated baldly, and anyone even remotely sensitive to this kind of subject – as well as the sex addiction he displays when he’s high – is likely to be turned off by its graphic portrayal. I wasn’t. Each detail helps to paint Ethan into a fully realized person, rather than the caricature he could have been in less deft hands. In his desperation, he latches onto the idea of killing Robert for his money, a villainous act that could have lost him all sympathy with the reader. Because he’s more of a character in this play of events than a plot device, that doesn’t happen. The reader understands what has driven him to this desperation, all because of the prevailing theme of the book, the fact that every individual in this world will, in some form or another, defy the label that has been placed upon him/her.

Nobody is safe from this dissection. Not Keith, the leather daddy who made his fortune writing YA novels for young teenaged girls. Not Robert and Jess, who find a whole new kind of love in spite of the fact that neither is attracted physically to the other. Not Ethan, whose degree with honors in English literature should have put him on an entirely different path than the drug/sex addicted one rushing him to an early death. Not even Tony, Ethan’s drug dealer, who questions his morality when Ethan makes an offer to him he knows he should refuse.

While the reincarnation angle is well researched, it never seems to integrate as organically into the story as other, more salient devices. Perhaps, it’s because that, compared to the moral grayness of the rest of the book, there is no wiggle room in it. It is what it is. The recognition is immediate, if unnamed. The dreams are confirmation. Everything falls into synch almost too easily in comparison to everything else that occurs. I know its purpose is to provide a foundation for the author to further his argument that love is more than body parts, that even that, like the rest of his cast of characters, is subject to defying its conventional labels. I understand this intellectually. It’s the emotional resonance that was lacking. That’s not to say it wasn’t there at all, because it was. It just didn’t impact as strongly as I think it could – or should – have, due to the sheer power encompassed by that riveting first chapter.

Still, it’s a harrowing, provocative read. It’s not for the faint-hearted, but in all honesty, neither is real love.

Readability	9/10 – Harrowing and relentless
Characterization	9/10 – Personalities leap from the page, both good and bad
Plot	7/10 – Perhaps the weakest aspect of the novel, though only because the rest of it overshadows its potential richness
Entertainment value	9/10 – Gut-wrenching and provocative, both intellectually and emotionally
World building	10/10 – No corner is safe from scrutiny
TOTAL:	44/50

Last Wish for a Dying Man by Gabriel Daemon

TITLE: Last Wish for a Dying Man
AUTHOR: Gabriel Daemon
PUBLISHER: eXcessica
LENGTH: Short story (roughly 15k)
GENRE: Mainstream drama
COST: $3.99

James Mailer has been granted his Last Wish, thirty days to live as a free man in exchange for giving up a life sentence behind bars and all rights to an appeal. After thirty days, he dies…

I find this author fascinating. The juxtaposition of a certain fatalism with hope within his characters lends a melancholy to his work that makes me respond intensely when the story is done well. I had incredibly strong reactions to two of his shorts in the anthology I read earlier this year, and this one most definitely falls in their league.

James has been convicted of killing his wife and her lover, and rather than spend his life behind bars, asks for the Last Wish. This grants the criminal thirty days to live as a free man (with some restrictions, since the police don’t want more crimes on their hands) with the understanding that he will die in some way when those thirty days are up. When the judge asks James why he’d choose to end his life now rather than potentially live another fifty years, he says simply, “I deserve it.” And means it. That demonstrates the level of guilt he feels regarding his crimes, and starts the path he takes over the course of this short story.

James chooses to spend his last month alive at his dead grandfather’s fishing cabin, a place he associates with peace and happiness. He just wants to be alone, but a female neighbor named Megan soon makes her presence known, and the two begin a friendship. Through their interactions, we learn more about James, his feelings about what happened, and how he deals with his guilt. It’s poignant without ever lapsing into melodrama, uplifting without ever getting sappy, and indicative of what short stories should really do. There is some mild graphic detail of what James did to deserve his punishment, but I was left with more questions than answers, and actually wished I’d gotten them.

Megan is a little more of an enigma than James, but then again, this isn’t about her. Still, I found their relationship believable and invested in what she gave to James in his last days. Their sex does get described in erotic detail, but it’s never overdone or overwhelming to the story’s emotional thrust. In fact, the only thing that really throws me in this – other than the ending which didn’t end up surprising me as much as the author probably would have wanted – is the few places where POV gets a little fluid. The bulk of this story is told in James’ 3^rd person perspective, but every once in a while, it slides into Megan’s for a sentence or two. It’s distracting and weakens it overall.

Not nearly enough for me not to enjoy it, though. And hardly matters at all when considering buying more of this author’s work, because I most definitely will.

Readability	8/10 – Though POV slips every one in a while to slow me down, it’s otherwise a swift, smooth read
Characterization	9/10 – I believed in both leads, though I had even more questions about them at the end
Plot	8/10 – Trusting characterization made it easier to get embroiled in the journey they took
Entertainment value	8/10 – I love the quietness of the emotional evolution contrasted with the violent circumstances that brought them there
World building	8/10 – The cabin milieu is strongest by far, but then again, it’s meant to be
TOTAL:	41/50

Painting from Life by Anne Brooke

TITLE: Painting from Life
AUTHOR: Anne Brooke
PUBLISHER: Eternal Press
LENGTH: Short story (roughly 5k)
GENRE: Mainstream drama
COST: $2.50

During a trip to try and reconnect with his wife, a painter discovers a new muse, in the guise of an elderly man on the beach…

More emotions are evoked in this short, haunting story than many longer works I’ve read in recent months. It gets classified as a love story, or a GLBT piece in many places I’ve seen it discussed, but I’m reluctant to so easily define it. The relationship between the painter and Peter, the elderly man, isn’t nearly that cut and dry.

The narrator, a young man who remains unnamed as the story is told in first person, presents at the top of the story as desperate to save his three-year marriage. There are a lot of brewing emotions just packed within that relationship. His wife is the primary earner, and resents her husband’s lack of contributions. She’s jealous of the time and energy he devotes to his art. She’s hungry for contact, and the list goes on. There’s certainly nothing easy about it, and then, when he spies Peter on the beach and his muse is infused as it hasn’t been in years, the situation only gets worse.

But just as his relationship with his wife isn’t simple, neither is his relationship with Peter. It grows from a simple agreement of a single sitting to something far more complex. Nothing sexual ever occurs, but the narrator finds energy and passion in his work with Peter as he never has before. Peter, in turn, cannot bring himself to characterize their relationship as anything familial (when asked if he trusts the narrator, Peter responds with, “Like a son…No, better than a son.”). The give and take between the two satisfies needs in both of them. There is some dark subtext, however, suggesting that the narrator (as artist) is draining away Peter’s life (as muse), but in all honesty, it didn’t overshadow the relationship as I read it. It felt far more symbiotic to me, as Peter is already elderly when they meet. Each is hungry for what the other offers. Peter's health might be failing as the narrator continues to work, but the paintings will give him an immortality he wouldn't have otherwise had if they'd never met in the first place.

The complexity of the relationships is served amazingly well by the lyrical, edgy prose. It offers just the right amount of clear, original detail to paint a picture with words, without getting excessive or too artsy, and intrigues me into pursuing more of the author’s work. Strong, original voices are like gold. This one pays off.

Readability	10/10 – Clean, lyrically edgy prose
Characterization	8/10 – Strong, vivid personalities
Plot	7/10 – Some ambiguity allows the reader to extrapolate exactly what he/she needs from it
Entertainment value	8/10 – Haunting
World building	9/10 – The detail of the seaside crackles
TOTAL:	42/50

At My Window with a Broken Wing by Ric Wasley

TITLE: At My Window with a Broken Wing
AUTHOR: Ric Wasley
PUBLISHER: Wild Child Publishing
LENGTH: Short story (roughly 15k)
GENRE: Mainstream drama
COST: $3.25

An encounter with a girl too good to be a groupie has one musician reflecting on his own values…

The blurb on the publisher’s website is a tad misleading. It presents the story from, “What if a girl…?” and “Suppose she meets…?” which suggests the story is about her. It’s not. Far from it. This short story is told in 1^st person, from the musician’s POV, and the girl in question doesn’t even come into real play until a third of the way through. So when you buy this character study, it’s not to discover why a girl would seek out that kind of situation. It’s to learn about a young man in 1966 starting to discover who he is as a human being.

The narrator seems like your average college musician from the sixties. He does weekend gigs, parties hard, somehow manages to stay in school. At the top of the story, he seems nearly a stereotype, but as he intercepts a sorority pledge from getting treated like crap, he starts to take on a little more life. He hooks up with Debbie, who, as his friend is always quick to remind him, is a good girl, and a weekend they plan together, where he assumes they’ll do the usual partying and sex thing, turns into something else entirely. He thinks she is looking to be debauched, to experience what it’s like to be a bad girl, and while that might partially be the case, it’s not where the story’s depths rests. No, that falls onto how the narrator reacts to it all, his reticence to smear her, and his caustic behavior afterward.

For all its tender prose, this is not a sugar-coated fairy tale. It is not a romance. I wouldn’t even call it a love story. This is the careful presentation of how one young man learns and changes from a very specific set of circumstances, and even more, how he doesn’t change. The narrator could have come across as a real jerk in this, considering some of his behavior. He doesn’t. He’s just a young man, who made some good choices and some not so good choices. It’s incredibly real and could easily happen today as it did then. The end result is a bittersweet character study that surprises you when it’s done for refusing to take an easy road.

Readability	8/10 – Charming and real
Characterization	8/10 – The narrator is the one who really shines in this
Plot	7/10 – Surprisingly gentle without being preachy
Entertainment value	7/10 – Nothing earth-shattering, but a tender character study that hits deeper than you first think
World building	7/10 – The sense of time isn’t as strong as I would have expected, could have almost been anywhen
TOTAL:	37/50

Border Roads by Sarah Black

TITLE: Border Roads
AUTHOR: Sarah Black
PUBLISHER: Loose Id
LENGTH: Novel (roughly 58k)
GENRE: Contemporary drama
COST: $6.99

Brothers are not always born. In the case of Chris, Gary, Clayton, and Luke, they are forged in the Marines, and bound together by honor and experiences nobody will ever have. After the foursome leave Iraq, they return to homes they don’t recognize to rebuild lives they’re unsure they want. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn’t. Always, they needs their brothers to make it right.

Loose Id has this labeled as GLBT erotic contemporary on the website, but honestly, I don’t think either the categorizing or the blurb do this story any favors. For one thing, there are three distinct relationships going on with the four Marines and only one of them is gay. There’s no warning that there’s het sex in the story, so someone buying it thinking they’re going to get a gay romance could be seriously upset. There are erotic elements, but they're tastefully done and few and far between. Secondly, though the relationships these men seek out after their return play their part, none of them is any more important than the other, nor is that the primary focus. This is the story of how these four men rebuild their lives, and it’s not just about them. It’s about their families, and the damaged souls that they take in. It’s a story of stark desperation, and it’s painful, poignant, and easily the most gut-wrenching, moving story I have read in a long, long time.

Black doesn’t sugarcoat anything. The scenery is as uncompromising as the men’s situations. The prose is practically tactile, and once she gets over some really passive writing in the opening of the story, it sucks you in and refuses to let you go. You’re left as parched as the unforgiving desert, panting for breath. Even when it hurt, I kept on reading.

It’s not just the description she doesn’t hold back on. She doesn’t just wound one of the vets by giving him a little scar or a limp. Oh, no, she blows half his face off, and leaves a garrulous man now mute. That’s brave. Not only that, it works beautifully, because it does almost as much as the prose in convincing a reader that nothing is safe in this. Nothing is secure. Life for these men is almost as tenuous here at home – if not more so – than it was in Iraq.

There’s an entire world of other characters surrounding the central four. The fact that there are two segments of a 15 y/o autistic boy named Juan that hit me just as hard as any of the others is testimony to the story’s power. But it’s all of them – Chris and the broken Melody, Clayton and Luke, Gary and everyone – that had my heart in my throat throughout most of the novel. I’m a tough sell for angst in written word. I often find it manipulative, or over the top, or maudlin. If this was any of that, I didn’t see it. I was too busy fighting off tears for most of the story.

I gave up fighting them at one point. Sometimes breaking is necessary before being able to put it all back together again. Just like in the story.

Readability	8/10 – Excessive passive voice in the beginning slows down what turns into a compelling read.
Characterization	9/10 – Rich and realistic, with only a couple not making an emotional impact on me.
Plot	8/10 – Some of the angsty turns might seem manipulative, but this is minor in the grand scheme.
Entertainment value	10/10 – I cried. I’ll admit it. This reached into my gut and absolutely pummeled me.
World building	9/10 – Everything in the physical world leapt off the page. My primary difficulties came in visualizing all the different men.
TOTAL:	44/50