AUTHOR: Jane Leopold Quinn
PUBLISHER: Phaze
LENGTH: Novella (roughly 20k)
GENRE: Contemporary erotic romance
COST: $3.00
When Lorren Samples runs into a sexy cowboy on the streets of
Sometimes, there are so many elements of a story that don’t work for me that I don’t know where to start. In this case, probably one of the biggest things was my sheer and utter dislike for the heroine. It seems like Lorren is meant to be a chick-lit-ish type of heroine – professional, slightly self-absorbed, and trying to be funny and/or sharp and/or observant. How she comes across to me is vulgar and a bitch. There is one section where she is trying to find fault with Jess – because he just seems too perfect – and settles for (and amuses herself with) the fact that he must fart, loudly and smellily (her word, not mine). It’s meant to be played for laughs – at least, I hope so – but it just falls flat on its face. There’s also the section she goes out on a day-long date with Jess, that ends with him getting her off in public (in the shadows) under fireworks. It ends there because Lorren freaks out, and without even a kiss goodnight, demands to be taken home, leaving him frustrated and annoyed. Now, I’m not saying if you get some, you give some, but in this case, Lorren is so callous and unthinking of anybody but herself that I lost absolutely all sympathy I might have had for her. It never came back.
Without liking the heroine, I’m left looking for enjoyment elsewhere. In a short erotic romance, that usually falls on the sex scenes. Here, though, I couldn’t stop laughing at some of the descriptions and word choices. Manly nubs refers to Jess’ nipples, and apparently, he ejaculates with Olympic proportions. Lorren’s sex talk never flows, while her anal orgasm from being penetrated by his thumb alone made me roll my eyes. Of course, it excited Jess to the point where he had to flip her over and immediately go at it sans condom. I’m glad someone was enjoying themselves.
So, no heroine to like, no sex scenes to enjoy. That leaves the plot. Jess is being shipped off to
Readability | 6/10 – Editorially clean, but when the humor and sex scenes don’t work for me, it makes for slow reading |
Hero | 5/10 – His reasoning for his secrets is practically nonexistent, and he’s a tad boring but at least I don’t hate him |
Heroine | 2/10 – I haven’t actively disliked a heroine this much in a while |
Entertainment value | 3/10 – Uneven pacing, an unlikable heroine, and sex scenes that made me laugh (not in a good way) keep this low |
World building | 7/10 – I see the efforts to make |
TOTAL: | 23/50 |
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