AUTHOR: Christine DePetrillo
PUBLISHER: Whispers Publishing
LENGTH: Short story (roughly 12k)
GENRE: Contemporary romance
COST: $2.95
When he’s not flying cargo around the country, Eric buys property and flips them. His current project is a restaurant, but when the architect recommended to him shows up, Sam Falcon is not what he was expecting…
There’s not much to this short story, but what started out promising quickly degenerated. The hero Eric is showing off the restaurant he’s just bought to his best friend Dave, and their banter back and forth is fun and realistic. Eric, especially, has an easy charm that makes it easy to like him. His friendship with Dave sparkles with realism, and sets the tone all the throughout the first chapter. It holds through his first introduction to Sam, who, on first appearances, seems to be the perfect woman for him.
It actually held me all the way until Sam shows up for their second meeting. She arrives at the restaurant first, drops something, then hits her head and gets knocked out. Nothing wrong with that. No, my problem started with Sam’s dog taking off at that point to run down the road to Eric’s house – a man the dog has never seen, nor visited – getting the man’s attention, and being responsible for Eric returning to the restaurant to find Sam. Instead of calling 911, he ends up kissing her, and while he recognizes he should be calling emergency services, the kissing continues – until he stops it. Sam gets pissed and takes off, and there’s the sole conflict in the entire story. It’s incredibly pointless and orchestrated, and never feels real nor organic. Everything goes downhill even more after that.
Stories like this are simple, short escapes, and with so few words, they can’t afford to lose a reader with dumb choices. This one did, and I’m particularly disappointed considering how much I liked Eric at the start.
| Readability | 7/10 – Appealing banter carried it a long way |
| Hero | 7/10 – Felt very genuine until the romance actually hit |
| Heroine | 4/10 – Not as well developed as the hero, though there’s a hint of what she could be |
| Entertainment value | 4/10 – I was enjoying it until the dog turned the story around |
| World building | 6/10 –The details regarding the restaurant set a fantastic setting, but it’s not enough to carry the story |
| TOTAL: | 28/50 |
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